“I Love YOU” .. not so fast!
“I LOVE YOU” is not a phrase I throw around lightly.
I know there are different ways, relations, reasons, forms of love and it is quite okay to say “I love you” to variety of relationships but for me the phrase has always had a very important place, space and value because of which I cannot say “I love you” to just a friend, just someone who is nice to me, just someone I get along with a fair bit.
It is something that comes to me when I trust people, when I see they accept me as I am and respect me for me. It is something I feel for them, when I find they show the same trust in me and feel confident that I accept and respect them for them.
This phrase has to come from a depth of my core
that doesn’t accept casual-spray of ‘I love you’ in 20 min friendship or 2 great conversations. It comes when my heart, mind and character are in agreement in a synchronized decision that I have this feeling towards someone.
Over the years, I have become even more selective on who I say this to because life has taught me, not everyone is going to understand the depth, value and importance of the expression the way it is used and I have come to believe, you must not be in any relationship (personal, professional, romantic, even family) where the give and take of this emotion isn’t an absolute equal. Before you argue that, I have witnessed and I have incredible beings in my personal, family, siblings, team, colleagues, clients who have this equal transaction with me for years, and even decades so I know absolute equal expression of love (of all kinds) exists.
My perspective is, not to try and settle or accept various degrees of love because the fact is, either there is love, or there isn’t and this is coming from someone who does not believe in black or white and strongly advocates for The Latitude BETWEEN — that “LOVE” is an equal transaction at all times, and when it’s not equal, it’s anything but love. Its convenience, its an arrangement, its an agreement, a contract even but not love.
So, if I have ever said “I LOVE YOU” to you and I stop saying it, you know where we stand!
